Tradition

The tradition of the bride wearing “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue” dates from Victorian times.



The full rhyme ended with the line: “and a silver sixpence in your shoe”, but this has become lost over time.

Something old refers to an item that represents a link with the bride’s ‘old’ life. Often this will be a piece of family jewellery or a dress worn by a mother or grandmother.

Something new is said to bring good luck, happiness and success. This could be the wedding dress, if bought new.

Something borrowed, normally something that has been worn by another bride at a happy wedding, ensures good luck, this could be a trinket, hankie, or item of clothing.

The something blue dates from ancient Israel, where the bride wore a blue ribbon to symbolise fidelity. Nowadays a bride will often wear a blue-trimmed garter.

There are a wealth of old wives’ tales and superstitions associated with weddings.

It used to be considered unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose surname began with the same letter as hers, as set out in the rhyme: “To change the name and not the letter, is to change for the worst and not the better.”

It is thought unlucky for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony and it is also unlucky for the bride to make her own wedding dress.

The bride should not wear her entire outfit before the wedding day. Some brides leave a final stitch on the dress undone until it is time to leave for the ceremony so as not to jinx the wedding.

When the bride is ready to leave for the wedding, a final look in the mirror is said to bring good luck. However returning to the mirror once the journey has begun, will result in bad luck.

Seeing a chimney sweep on the way to a wedding is thought to bring good luck and many couples still hire one to attend marriage ceremonies. Other good luck omens when seen on the way to a wedding include lambs, toads, spiders, black cats and rainbows.

Several wedding traditions involve shoes. The best known, which is still carried out today, is to tie shoes to the back of the married couple’s car. This has evolved from a Tudor custom where guests would throw shoes at the newlywed couple. It was considered lucky if they or their carriage were hit.

Another lesser-known tradition is for the father of the bride to give the groom a pair of the bride’s shoes to symbolise the passing of responsibility for the daughter to her new husband. A variation of the custom is for the groom to tap the bride on the forehead with one of the shoes to assert his dominance.

The custom of the bride throwing her bouquet over her shoulder originally involved her throwing one of her shoes. // My Wedding Planner

Photography

Capturing the day on camera is vital to any wedding. The pictures will keep the memories alive and will stay with you forever.



Graham Sherriff has won several awards for his wedding photography - but just how much goes into taking wedding pictures?

“Traditionally, wedding photography was frowned on by professional photographers,” he says.

“But in recent years it’s become more of a respected profession. Wedding photography is now well respected and regarded in circles as up there with fashion photography.

“There’s so much more room for creativity now. I like to picture the bride and groom being natural and enjoying themselves, that’s what makes really special pictures.

“I also use my imagination and use different locations for pictures. Basically, the photographs are going to record the wedding day, and getting the personalities of the wedding party and in particular the newly weds across is a great pleasure.

“It can be a difficult job keeping people relaxed in front of the camera, but I love it. As far as I’m concerned I have the best job in the world. How many people can say they go to work where there will be 100 people there just to enjoy themselves?”

The current fashion is for artistic shots as well as traditional, such as close-ups of the bride and groom holding hands, or a motion shot of confetti raining down on the newlyweds.

You also need to consider whether or not to have your wedding memorialised on video. It’s best to get a professional in for the job, because an amateurish wedding video can look dated very quickly. With expert editing, and maybe a soundtrack, you can relive your wedding whenever you like without worrying about any You’ve Been Framed style blunders.

A wedding video is also a lovely keepsake to pass on to your children. What better way to describe your big day to future generations than letting them watch it for themselves? // My Wedding Planner

Honeymoon

The world is your oyster when it comes to working out your honeymoon, as the choice of locations for your romantic break is practically endless.



Whether you and your beloved are hoping to head for the sun, experience the glamour of the globe’s most beautiful cities, or escape to a country retreat to enjoy your break in a peaceful and secluded place, you’ll be spoilt for choice.

There’s a romantic break on offer from every corner of the globe, offering almost every flavour of exciting getaway for you and your partner.

You could sip cocktails and see the sunset from any number of perfect island beaches, including ones in the Caribbean, the Seychelles, or in the warm and secluded seas in the Far East, made famous by Leonardo DiCaprio in The Beach.

Closer to home are the charms of Europe’s beautiful cities, which have long provided happy couples with the honeymoon of their dreams.

Paris and Venice remain popular choices, but why not try Rome, Prague, or Barcelona? Moscow is also becoming a favourite for more adventurous couples.

You don’t even need to stray beyond the British Isles to enjoy a truly romantic time away, with country breaks and city stops alike on offer.

The sights and sounds of London, Edinburgh and Dublin are an exciting stop for any couple, while a secluded break in the Lake District, Scottish Highlands or North Wales offer a chance to get away from it all. // My Wedding Planner

Gifts

It’s now tradition for guests to shower the bride and groom with gifts on their wedding day, but it can be tricky choosing presents for the happy couple.


Don’t be embarrassed about setting up a gift list and asking for things you need. You don’t want to end up with 10 kettles and five toasters, and guests will probably appreciate a point in the right direction.

Using a gift list is only considered to be bad taste if it is forced onto guests, and is not thought to be cheeky or presumptuous.

You can either compile a list yourself, including the colour, model and manufacturer’s name for the items you want, or use the wedding list services on offer at various shops and websites.

It is tradition that the host, usually the bride’s mother, takes charge of circulating the list.

On the big day, the bride and groom are also expected to give presents to their guests.

Known as ‘favours’, the gifts can double-up as a token of thanks and an attractive table decoration.

They may be as simple as small boxes filled with sweets or sugared almonds and goody bags for children, to more unusual or personalised gifts like alcohol miniatures, small accessories or lottery tickets.

Special gifts are also given to the bridesmaids, ushers and best man by way of thanks for their hard work.

A keepsake to remind them of the day will often make a nice gift.

Traditionally, the gifts for the best man and the maid of honour will be similar but slightly more expensive than those given to the bridesmaids and ushers. // My Wedding Planner

Flowers

Flowers can set the stage for your wedding and if you get them right they can provide the perfect backdrop to the day.


You should first examine how much you are willing to spend on flowers as they can cost thousands.

The bride and bridesmaids can have bouquets and the groom and ushers normally wear buttonholes. Traditionally the couple’s mothers wear corsages.

You then need to make the decision to have flowers in the church or the venue where you are to be married. In the church people often have pedestals of flowers and they also finish the pews off with flowers.

Flowers are often also put in the wedding car as a decoration.

At the reception you can also find flowers as table decorations or in pedestals.

When finding a florist people should enquire at the venue where the reception is held, or ask for a recommendation from a friend.

You should then make a decision on the type of flowers you want. Popular wedding blooms include lilies, roses, freesias and carnations.

The flowers should not clash with your dress, and they should fit in with the venue for the wedding and reception.

You may want to choose your favourite flower and this idea would add your personality to the day.

Brides may want to base their choice of flowers on the season the wedding is held in, with tulips in the spring and roses in the summer.

The quantity of flowers is also important. Some decide for a few which can provide understated elegance, while others go for busy arrangements with many flowers.

Flowers have their own significance and traditions that vary across the globe and through the ages.

The Victorians were fascinated by the meanings of different blooms and popularised the wedding rose, which represents true love.

In Tudor England, brides carried marigolds dipped in rosewater and ate them afterward, since they were thought to be aphrodisiacs.

Ancient Greek brides often carried ivy as a symbol of never-ending love and in Indian tradition both the bride and groom wear a floral headpiece. // My Wedding Planner

Hair & Makeup

Every bride wants to look stunning on her big day, but it’s not just about finding the perfect dress - hair and make-up is important too.



There are so many options to choose from when deciding on the right wedding hairstyle; be it pinned up or left down, curly or straight, so it’s a good idea to look for inspiration in magazines and on the internet beforehand.

The style must complement your outfit, reflect your personality and fit in with how you will wear your chosen veil or tiara.

Jewels, beads or flowers can also be added to French pleats or curls for a unique look or a touch of sparkle.

Once you’ve decided on your ideal style, don’t wait until the wedding and hope for the best. Always have a trial run well in advance to make sure it will work out as planned.

Make-up must also complement the rest of your look.

To help achieve a flawless complexion, take care of your skin ahead of the big day.

Try to take time out and relax during the build-up. Pre-wedding nerves and stress over the preparations can lead to the appearance of pimples.

As with hair, it is advisable to have a make-up trial in advance. Trials work best in daylight to find the perfect tones and colours to suit your complexion and wedding theme.

On the day, leave the make-up until your hairstyle is complete, so that your face looks as fresh as possible when you walk down the aisle. // My Wedding Planner

Tematic links:

• How to choose wedding hair accessories

Rings & Jewellery

Choosing the perfect wedding ring is an important task – after all, you will be wearing it every day for the rest of your married life.


The band symbolises everlasting love and is traditionally worn on the third finger of the left hand.

Ancient Egyptians believed that this finger contained the “vena amoris”, the vein of love, that runs directly to the heart.

Many couples choose a wedding set of matching engagement ring, wedding band and eternity ring, but it is more common, with people choosing to have longer engagements, to buy separate rings.

Start the search by deciding what will go well with the engagement ring.

The gold colours should match and the carat weights should be the same, otherwise a purer gold ring would wear down a less pure one worn next to it.

Simple gold bands are the classic choice, but many variations on this style are now available.

White gold has soared in popularity over recent years and is now the colour of choice for many younger couples because of its versatility when wearing other colours.

Diamond studded bands are becoming popular, but ensure they do not clash or detract from the engagement ring.

Patterned and Celtic style bands are also widely available.

Dual-coloured bands are a fashionable choice, with a smaller band of white gold on a yellow base being a popular current style.

Couples often decide to have a personal message, or initials, engraved on the inside of their wedding band. This gives a personal and romantic individual twist, but if you choose this option it is better to go for a wider wedding band.

For the big day itself, decide whether to buy or hire bridal jewellery. To make a real statement without breaking the bank, hire some stunning diamond earrings and a necklace.

But many brides like to keep their wedding jewellery, and often a simple, elegant solitaire diamond necklace is all that is needed to set off the beautiful dress.

If the bride’s hair is worn up, some beautiful earrings will complement the style well.


Choose the hairstyle well in advance so you can decide what hair jewellery, such as tiaras or elegant slides, will be needed. // My Wedding Planner

Bridesmaids

Originally bridesmaids were used in the wedding ceremony as a ‘decoy’, to confuse evil spirits intent on destroying the bride’s happiness. Often they were servants of the couple.

Modern bridesmaids are seen as an integral part of the ceremony and help her in a similar way to the best man helping the groom.

Bridesmaids can be of any age. Many couples like to choose young family members to make them feel involved in the day. An older bridesmaid who is married is known as a matron of honour.

It is acceptable to have any number of bridesmaids, although the more chosen, the more cost is involved. Bridesmaids’ dresses are traditionally paid for by the groom, but today these customs are often ignored for practical reasons.

The bride has the final say on what the bridesmaids wear.

One of their duties is to carry the bride’s train if it is long, but they also help with practical issues and traditionally plan the hen party.

Superstition says that if a bridesmaid trips down the aisle, she will never be a bride herself.

Page boys and flower girls can also be incorporated into the ceremony. Flower girls walk in front of the bride, scattering flower petals, while page boys may help carry the train or carry the rings to the altar on a cushion. // My Wedding Planner

The dress

For many brides-to-be the most important - and stressful - element of the big day is the wedding dress.



From an elegant figure-hugging gown to a full-on meringue - the possibilities are endless, and, of course, are all a matter of taste.

A bride needs the perfect gown that will ensure she looks her best, reflects her personality and will still look stunning when looking back on wedding photos in years to come.

Many women spend years searching for their wedding dress, but as soon as they see it they will know it is ‘the one’. Bridal shops, wedding fayres and magazines are a great starting point.

Dawn Keijzer, director of The Bridal Gallery Group Limited, Tarleton, says brides-to-be should keep an open mind when searching for the ideal dress.

“It’s great to have some direction, but trying on a wedding dress is an experience unlike any other and it often turns out that the initial thoughts do not replicate the gown that the bride falls in love with,” she says.

“Bring maybe one or two trusted family members or friends with you, but not too many as often opinions can conflict and cause confusion! Also don’t try on too many gowns in one go as it can be overwhelming.”

Bridal shop assistants are used to the fitting process and can give un-biased advice on what silhouettes and colours will suit you.

As with any dress, certain styles will enhance particular body shapes. For example, an A-line dress can hide broad hips and a ‘mermaid’ shape creates height for petite brides.

And if you’re struggling to find your ideal dress, there is always the option to have your own bespoke style created – if you can afford it.

Celebrity weddings can often influence popular choices (perhaps with the exception of Jordan’s pink loo-roll-cover creation), but classic looks never go out of fashion.

“Strapless gowns have definitely been the style of choice over recent years, however there has now been a slight shift towards gowns with straps as brides want to be different to other family members or friends who have all recently been married in strapless gowns,” Dawn says. “Romance is definitely back as veils are also extremely popular at the moment, with the train length being most popular and many girls are also liking the addition of pearls along with crystals either on their gown, veil or tiara.”

Coloured gowns have increased in popularity recently as attitudes towards the traditional marriage ceremony become more relaxed.

Red, gold and black gowns do not even raise an eyebrow these days, but the classic white or ivory dress still reigns supreme.

Dawn recently produced dresses for a set of seven bridesmaids who had the same style dress in each of the colours of the rainbow.

“The end result was striking,” she says. The cost of a gown should not be off-putting, because a beautiful dress can be found to suit most budgets.

There is also more of a trend these days to wear vintage dresses or family heirlooms. It is not uncommon for brides to find their dream dress in a charity shop.

A mother’s or grandmother’s wedding dress can be altered or embellished to suit a modern day bride. With a good eye and some flare a bride can create her own stunning creation that is truly unique.

Also keep in mind bridal lingerie and ensure that this will suit the dress. For example, a lacy bra may appear lumpy under a sheer silk dress.

A beautiful, well suited dress will ensure you exude confidence on your wedding day and all the stress of finding it will be worth it to see your husband-to-be’s jaw hit the floor. // My Wedding Planner

Best Man

The tradition of having a best man has somewhat unpleasant roots – a throw-back to ancient European times when a groom would kidnap his potential bride and would need to choose the ‘best man’ to help him with the task.

Today, choosing a best man is a tactful process. It is a great honour to bestow on someone, normally a close friend of the groom, but also comes with great responsibility.

The person chosen must be trustworthy and also get on well with the bride.

He will stand to the right of the groom during the ceremony and carry the rings until they are needed. But probably the greatest pressure is the best man’s speech at the reception, which is traditionally witty and jocular, and the chosen person must be confident enough to carry this off.

A wealth of books and websites are available to give tips on best man speeches, but the best are always original and heartfelt.

The best man also acts as chief usher and will be responsible for helping the groom keep appointments and organising the wedding outfits (although the bride has the final say on matters such as the colour of waistcoats).

He will organise the stag party and distribute buttonholes and orders of service.

The best man must be willing to give a lot of his own time, be well organised and good at remembering names and faces. // Me Wedding Planner

Groom

Traditionally the husband-to-be’s only jobs include the marriage proposal, selecting his best man and paying for the honeymoon - but things have changed and men are becoming more hands-on in planning their big day.



It used to the bride’s mother who would go along with her to view flowers, look at venues, pick out stationery and organise the reception seating plan.

But tradition has faded somewhat over the decades, and the husband-to-be is becoming much more involved with the organisation of the big day.

With many couples now paying for weddings themselves rather than turning to their parents, and many setting up home together before the wedding, it’s easy to see why the men are so much more involved.

Wedding planner Anna Jackson says: “It’s amazing how many grooms come to all the meetings with the bride now - we even find the men are grooming themselves more.

“I have them booked in to get their hair and nails done, teeth whitening, diet club - you name it.”

Part owner of Emersons Menswear in Southport, Steve Emerson says: “Lots of men are happy to wear what they are told to wear and go with the flow - but more grooms than ever are insisting on what they like and what they don’t.

“Highland wear has been very popular this year - but the amount of times men have walked into the shop saying ‘I’m not wearing a skirt’ - I’ve explained the theory behind a kilt so often, then most people try it on and look and feel a million dollars.”

Steve agrees that men are becoming much more involved and do tend to pamper themselves more.

“We get so many suits back with make-up or fake tan on the collar - but why shouldn’t the groom make sure he looks and feels his best? Why should all the emphasis be on how the bride looks? It’s really great to see that men are making such an effort with their appearance.”

The most popular suits in the shop are the three-quarter length jackets. “They are a kind of compromise between tails and a regular dinner suit.

“Tails are really smart, but lots of men just don’t feel comfortable wearing them, so the three-quarter length suit is great. It will carry on any size, shape or age - from children to granddads.”

As with the bride, grooms should pick an outfit to flatter their figure and make sure they feel comfortable on the day. For example, men with larger waistlines should avoid drawing attention to them with a cummerbund and opt for a more slimming vest.

Shorter men should avoid double-breasted suits and long jackets, as these will not be flattering.

So there you have it gents - groom yourselves for your wedding day - take some spotlight off the dress. // My Wedding Planner

Wedding Cake

A wedding cake is as much a part of the wedding as confetti so choosing and making sure you have the right one is essential.



The cake is important and guests remember what it was like.

There are all types of wedding cakes, from large traditional ones to just a single layered cake, there are lots of different decisions to be made. Couples should decide how big their cake is by how many guests they have coming.

The flavour of the cake is also important. If you have chosen to have a large layered cake then each tier could be different. Flavours may include anything from vanilla, to chocolate fudge to the traditional fruit mix with soft icing on top.

Sometimes couples decide to keep one of the tiers from the wedding cake for a christening.

Icing is normally white or light cream colour. But in modern weddings couples are deciding to have the same colour for the wedding cake icing as the wedding theme. Sugar and flour, or rich cream cheese can be used as the icing recipe.

When decorating a cake you are free to use your imagination. You can choose to have a cake linked with the décor or theme of the wedding, or you might want to give it a different look with unusual decorations to suit your individual preference. Bakers design cakes with drapes, lace and embroidery appliqué. The wedding cake should reflect the characteristics of the couple.

Start planning your wedding cake months before the big day. And make sure the cake is right for the season you are getting married in, as an ice cream cake will melt in hot weather. // My Wedding Planner

Wedding Planning: Food

There are a number of choices to be made when planning food for a wedding reception and you must try and meet your guests’ varying tastes.

If you are having a wedding breakfast as well as an evening reception, you will need to plan separate menus.

The wedding breakfast is attended by an invited number of guests who have been to the church service. The origin of the term ‘wedding breakfast’ is debated – some say it comes from the tradition of the bride and groom fasting before the ceremony, others believe it comes from being the first meal of married life, as breakfast is the first meal of the day.

If you are planning an evening do as well – normally for a larger number of guests who have not all attended the breakfast – don’t forget that while you may still be full from the earlier dinner, your new guests will be hungry and will expect a good spread.

As always finance comes into play and first of all people must decide when they are to hold their reception, and must choose whether it will be in the morning, afternoon, or evening.

After you have decided on the time of the reception you can start thinking about the type of menu you want.

For those couples who want to tie the knot at 12pm there is the lunchtime option.

This allows you to have drinks, then a sit down meal with a set menu, with starters of either soup, melon, or pate for example.

The main meal could be hot and include chicken, or beef or lamb with vegetables. You may also want a vegetarian option and to provide salad. For dessert people can decide between meringues, fruit salads and cheese and biscuits.

There is also the option of a buffet where a hot or cold table of food can be offered, with meats, fish and salad or sandwiches.

A lunch menu allows for a certain degree of flexibility.
For those couples who want to have a morning reception there is the choice of a breakfast or brunch options. Here you can give guests a selection of morning foods such as pastries, pancakes, bagels, fresh fruit and cheeses.

Morning receptions allow you an early start to your celebrations and mean you can leave for your honeymoon the same day, but some guests who have had to travel a long way may have difficulty getting there on time.

There is also the dinner reception choice. As with the lunch reception there is the choice of a sit down meal or buffet.

At an evening affair guests are more likely to dance.

Finally if you don’t want a full meal as part of your do, you could have a tea reception.

This is an economical idea and guests are still able to enjoy sandwiches and cake.

Once you have decided on the time of the reception and the menu, you must get a quote for the cost of the food per head.

Venues may charge extra for cutlery and table linen, so make sure you know what is included in your price. // My Wedding Planner

Seating Plan

This may seem like the easy part, but there are many factors to consider when arranging your reception seating plan.

You will need to wait first until you have all the replies as to which guests will be attending. Chase up people who have not replied by your deadline with a phone call.

While it is not strictly necessary to assign seats to guests, it is normally expected and helps the day run more smoothly. It also avoids families being split up or people being seated along with others they may not know.

A seating chart is generally posted on a board or table near the entrance to the reception, or escort cards can be printed and given to each guest with their name and table and seat number. The advantage of these is they can be changed up to the last minute, whereas a seating chart will need to be printed in advance.

It is a nice idea to give ‘names’ to your tables instead of numbers. These can have a theme, for example gemstones or cartoon characters.

Generally it is best to sit families and work colleagues together, but avoid having a table of ‘leftovers’ who don’t know anyone else – it is best to distribute these guests evenly.

Some couples like to have a male-female seating arrangement for variety, but this is not always practical.

The wedding party sit at the top table, which generally takes the form of a long table with seats along one side. Sometimes it is on a raised platform.

Traditionally the groom sits to the right of the bride, and places alternate male-female. Partners of the best man and chief bridesmaid sit at other tables.

A typical line-up could be chief bridesmaid, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, best man.

If it is a second marriage, children from previous relationships may also sit at the top table.

If the parents of the bride or groom have divorced and remarried it probably isn’t a good idea to put them and their new partners together on the top table. One solution is to invite some family of the step-parent and put them together on a separate table near the top table.

It is also becoming more fashionable for the bride and groom to sit at their own table, known as the sweetheart table. This avoids anyone feeling ‘left out’ from the top table. // My Wedding Planner

Wedding reception

Your wedding reception can be anything from a short ceremony to a party lasting many hours, but the important thing is that you enjoy it.

Make sure your venue has room for all of your guests, and make sure there’s plenty of music to hand to ensure that first dance goes smoothly!

If your beloved has grown up in another country, why not try to include some of their customs into the ceremony to give your reception a truly international flavour?

Groom’s cakes, often chocolate or liquorflavoured, are a popular reception dish from the southern USA, while the custom of paying the bride or groom a small amount of money to dance with them is a tradition popular in countries such as Italy and Poland.

And don’t forget to toast your guests, particularly if one of them introduced you and your partner to each other. Chances are, they may even return a few good-natured jokes in the speeches they make!

Also think about your outfit for the reception. Will you stay in your wedding clothes (it is nice for guests who did not attend the ceremony to be able to see you in your finery) or change into something more comfortable?

Your wedding day is one of the best of your life, and a great reception should play a part of it. // My Wedding Planner

Venue

The venue is the single most important detail of the wedding day a couple will decide upon together.

These days choosing a wedding venue is no longer limited to a church or registry office.

It’s not unusual to hear of a ceremony taking place whilst the bride and groom bungee jump - in fact it brings a much more literal meaning to tying the knot.

Bizarre ideas aside, classic formal weddings are still the most popular.

The perfect wedding location is the part of the day that will go down in history. For years to come, guests will tell people about the wedding venue - and they will hold nothing back. What the food was like, how the tables were set, what the service was like and most of all - was it was a disaster or a dream venue.

Other than the traditional church, castles, stately homes and country clubs are all romantic alternatives.

Hotels are also a very popular choice, because it is simple to hold the reception in the same location.

Nowadays, British weather allowing, many couples are choosing to tie the knot outdoors. The increasing number of locations becoming registered to hold weddings has broadened choice enormously.

Picturesque parks or botanical gardens make for an opulent backdrop to the ceremony.

Your local town hall or registry office is a popular choice for people who have been married before, or those wanting a fussfree service. // "My Wedding Planner"

Wedding planning

Planning a wedding is tough work - the flowers, the photography, the venue, the outfits, the invitations... the list of tasks goes on and on.

It has been reported that the time it takes to organise the average wedding equates to a fulltime job for six months.

Each bride and groom-to-be wants every detail of their day to be perfect - from the colour of the ribbon in the bridesmaid’s hair to the colour of the flowers in the bride’s bouquet.

It is the most important day of a couple’s life, so everything has to be just so.

No matter if you a planning a big white wedding or a ‘no-nonsense’ ceremony, there is still plenty to organise and at times it can seem overwhelming.

Many couples choose to employ a wedding planner to take away some of the stress. They will be able to advise you on the choices available, and point out ideas you may not have considered.

Wedding planners may also have exclusive access to some venues or services.

They will take on the donkey work of making your dream wedding a reality.

The first, most important, step is to set your budget. It is hard to make any decisions without knowing how much you have to spend.

Also decide early on if your wedding will have a theme. It is normal to have a colour theme for flowers and bridesmaids, but sometimes guests are requested to dress inkeeping with the theme.

You could also choose a historical theme, such as medieval or 1920s, or a country theme, such as oriental dress or Moroccan style.

Wedding planner Anna Jackson of A Touch of Klass says: “My job is wonderful, I have made some great friends as I really bond with the bride, although grooms are fast becoming more and more involved in arrangements in recent times.

“The biggest hurdle is often the dress. In the bridal wear world the dresses are always bigger sizes - so if you’re a size 12 the dress that fits you will probably be a size 16. It’s sometimes difficult to explain to bride-to-bes that they are still the same size, the dresses are just very, very small sizes. I’ve had to cut out so many labels on dresses for the bride once it’s been ordered. They don’t want anyone to see the size.”

Even something as seemingly straightforward as the invitations involves a lot of decisions. Will you send out save-the-date cards first? Will you send a menu or information sheet with the invitations? Will you send a reply card or stamped addressed envelope?

Also decide who will be invited to the ceremony, the wedding breakfast, and the evening event if you have one.

Ensure you include a deadline date for people to reply – and the method of how they should reply. It is not unreasonable to ask for replies within a week. // "My Wedding Planner"

My Wedding Planner

Planning your wedding to the one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with is an extremely exciting time, if not slightly daunting.

After the engagement celebrations the bride-and-groom-to-be face months of research, decisions and spending to ensure the big day does not disappoint.

Your Wedding Planner will guide you through the most important elements of your wedding to consider – the cake, the venue, the dress, the reception, through to the hair and make-up, photography and reception – and everything in between.

Wedding plans can sometime cause stress and tension in the family, with everyone having their own ideas of how it should be done. Remember to include your family in your plans – they may even have some good ideas – but do not let them take over.

It is your day so everything should be just as you want it. Take a deep breath and make the most of all the expert services available to you. This guide will ease you through the decision-making process, provide you with a wealth of tips, advice and information and hopefully make your wedding planning as smooth and enjoyable as possible.

If in doubt, ask one of the experts featured in this guide. They all have a wealth of experience and will be able to answer all your burning questions.

You will remember your wedding day for the rest of your lives, so make sure it is for the right reasons. It is worth all the fuss and effort – and all the cash. // "My Wedding Planner"

Many couples saying ‘I don’t’ to a big, tiered cake

The big, white wedding cake has gone stale for many couples who have tasted too much bad buttercream and seen too many slices left untouched on the table.
Instead, they’re trying to make their celebrations more personal with other sweet expressions of their union.

For Elena Flores and Jeff Breese, there was no question that their 250 wedding guests would be treated to their favorite dessert — gelato — which they eat together once or twice a week.

“Neither of us are cake eaters,” said Elena Flores Breese, 27. “In our opinion, wedding cake ... sometimes it isn’t good.”

After guests finished a Southwestern meal at the couple’s September wedding in Phoenix, servers scooped four flavors of the Italian ice cream into martini glasses, and the bride and groom fed each other a spoonful.

“Good friends of ours and family know how much we love gelato.We wanted to share it with them on our day,” said Flores Breese, who also had a sweets table and churros with several sauces.

A long-standing symbol of a wedding, the tall, tiered cake is often part of the decor, a centerpiece for the room. It’s the cutting of the cake that traditionally signals the time when guests can leave without seeming rude, notes Chicago wedding planner Marina Birch. The retreat from cake is part of a larger trend: Many couples are dropping wedding customs that don’t suit them and are adding personal touches instead. Taking the place of the iconic cake is everything from pies, cheesecakes with sauces, fresh doughnuts with toppings, and cupcakes — lots and lots of cupcakes in different flavors and sizes, arranged in cascading tiers to look like, yes, a cake.

There are desserts that guests create themselves: an ice cream sundae bar, candied or caramel apples with toppings, a fondue station or a candy table. Bite-size sweets — brownies, creme brulee, cream puffs, cheesecake lollipops, and warm chocolate chip cookies and milk served in shot glasses — are also popular.

“Most don’t like cake, and others are wanting to personalize the wedding experience a little bit more and are finding that dessert is the easiest way,” said Melissa Lee Sylvester of Rincon Beach Club and Catering in Carpinteria, Calif., where about 40 percent of the weddings are cakeless.

Although some couples may think an alternative dessert is less expensive than cake, that is not always the case. Planners say a cupcake that has to be individually decorated can cost the same as a slice of cake, while a candy table can cost less. Gelato is more expensive than a traditional buttercream-frosted cake with fresh flowers.

Cost aside, no-cake couples want their after-dinner treat to represent them.

For Lindsey Mallow and her fiance, Truett Sage, of Tulsa, Okla., their thing is pie — the peach pie they eat every Tuesday night at a favorite dive.

“My fiance and I were really set on our wedding reflecting us and not just traditional wedding things like having a cake,” said Mallow, 24, who is planning her wedding for next fall. “We just thought we should have pie at our wedding because it’s so much more us.”

Couples are also using dessert to honor their backgrounds. Planners cite an Italian-American couple who will serve cannoli, Southern couples who have chosen mini pecan pies or red velvet cupcakes, a Maine bride who went with mini blueberry pies, and a Michigan wedding with cherry pies.

Many brides and grooms who opt out of a wedding cake do keep the tradition of feeding each other a bite of something sweet, mindful, perhaps, that their parents might miss the photographable moment.

“I could have left it out altogether, but we’re doing that for my mom,” said Mallow, who plans to exchange bites of pie with her new husband.

Sometimes, the pressure to have a traditional cake is too much to resist.With 350 people coming to her wedding in Los Angeles in October, Michelle Olsen wanted to have several desserts.

She didn’t care for the look — or price tag — of a cake big enough to serve all the guests.

So she chose five flavors of mini cupcakes and a candy bar with sweets in her wedding colors of black, white and kelly green. No cake. But after hearing from her future husband’s stepfather that wedding cake was the only reason he goes to weddings, they added a threetiered cake in white buttercream with green trim.

“We didn’t want to offend anyone, so we figured we would have a small one for the tradition and to take some pictures,” said Olsen, 29. She made sure they cut the cake early to keep the party going.

Another bride wanted only cotton candy and candy for her wedding last June.

“Once we informed the moms, they were not happy campers,” said Evora Alvarez-Deily, 35, of Margate, Fla. She added a wedding cake — blue icing with brown lacy swirls — to appease them.

Alvarez-Deily said her nontraditional choices were wildly successful, however.

“Everybody loved it and went crazy over it,” she said of the ring pops, candy necklaces and cotton candy. “I barely had any kids there. The adults were all over it.”

TOP-10 questions for your caterer

• Do you have a business license, liability insurance and a health certificate? Are you licensed to serve alcohol?
• What is your ratio of servers to guests? How experienced are your servers?
• Do you have references?
• Can i see another event you're catering? Caterers will often arrange for you to take a look at an event they're setting up.
• How do you handle gratuities? Some caterers add a gratuity on top of other charges and that can add an additional 20 percent to your bill.
• What are your billing policies? Caterers usually ask for full payment before the event, according to Anderson. "A reliable caterer will rebate you for the money unused, but that's part of the contract", she says.
• How do you handle intoxicated guests? "Know how a caterer will handle Uncle Joe if he gets drunk", says Anderson. You don't want to have to deal with drunken guests or accidents.
• What is your overtime policy? How much do you charge for each 30 minutes or hour we ask you to stay beyond quitting time?
• Who takes home any leftover food or liquor?
• What is your cancellation policy?

Tips to save money on weddings

It is still possible to have a fantastic wedding during a bleak economy. Here's a few tips from New York wedding planner Lisa Light on how to save money on traditional and destination weddings:

• Ask friends and family to participate more in the preparation, ceremony and reception. This also makes the wedding more personal.
• Reuse and recycle. Check out secondhand dresses. Take your wedding flowers to be used at the reception, too, or consider borrowing table decorations.
• Look at offseason and midweek weddings. Saturdays are pricey, so opt for a Friday or Sunday. Getting married offseason can cut a destination wedding price.
• Invite fewer guests.This also creates a more intimate wedding.
• For a destination wedding, choose a resort where you feel comfortable so you don't need to hire a wedding planner.
• Look into getting hitched on a cruise. Cruises offer deals, and waiting to book the trip often gets couples a better price. Food is included.