There is also a romantic side to it: there is a growing trend for couples to focus on the marriage, not the wedding. Falling in love and marrying the man of her dreams becomes the focus instead of the big party and expensive dress.
The Basics:
A registry office wedding takes place at, you guessed it, a registry office (please see www.bdm.govt.nz for contact details). The Registrar will solemnise your marriage in the presence of two witnesses.
Prior to the wedding, you need to apply for your marriage licence, stating which registry office will conduct your ceremony. You should make arrangements with the Registrar for a time and date for the ceremony so this can be included on your application. Registry office weddings are conducted during normal office hours, which are Monday to Friday, 9.00am to 4.00pm.
The date for the ceremony must be at least three days after you give notice of your intended marriage, but not more than three months after the marriage licence is issued.
As mentioned earlier, the marriage needs to be witnessed. If you do not have suitable witnesses, the registry office can provide these.
For further details on the legal requirements for marriages, please see the very first issue of Engaged.
For Richer or For Poorer:
The cost of a Registry Office is NZ$170.00, which includes the ceremony and your marriage licence. Very cheap, when you consider the cost of hiring a venue and engaging a marriage celebrant.
But does a registry office mean a ceremony devoid of beauty and colour? Most definitely not! You are free to take your own flowers, wear your own gorgeous gown, have your man wear a suitably handsome suit, take cake! Or you can wear something both you and he feel comfortable in – how about what you wore when you first met or when he (or she!) proposed? You get to make your own choices. The ceremony can be all you want it to be, without the cost.
Shhh…
What about those who elope to a registry office to get married? Before all the friends and family reading this groan in dismay about missing out, think about why a couple would elope.
Aside from the cost factor, often weddings can be a very stressful event. There is pressure from family members as to how it ‘should’ be done, the migraine-causing choices involved in guest lists and table seating, political choices about bridesmaids and what they wear… Of course, the majority of the time, it is not like this and some couples revel in making wedding-related decisions and choices. Others do not.
For those that find all the decision-making tiring, the focus can get taken up by minute details, and quite quickly, couples can forget why they are getting married: it’s not for the big party and pretty dress, it’s because they are deeply in love with each other. Many couples are choosing to concentrate on their loved one the entire day and on the marriage.
Sometimes this needs to come at the expense of upsetting parents and friends and the easiest way to avoid this is to romantically run away and elope! Whilst family members might be hurt, gently remind them why you choose this route and that they should love you and the love between you and your spouse.
But of course, friends and family do not have to miss out – there’s always the party or celebratory drinks afterwards (or when everyone finds out)!
engaged, july 2009
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